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Trent
Reply with quote  #1 
Folks, in the spirit of being prepared, I have assembled a list of complaints about the Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon.  My goal is to limit the pressure you feel to come up with substantive or trivial complaints after the race.  Please feel free to use as many of these as you feel apply.  Please also feel free to add to the list before the race.  The race management will close this list on November 19 at 7am, as the race begins.

Thank you
Trent

-The course was long

-The course was short

-I did not like the food

-My time was wrong

-The RD was an as s

-Not every band along the route was playing "Rocky Top"

-There were not enough bands

-There were no bands

-There were no cheerleading squads

-Too many monkees

-Not enough monkees

-Monkeys didn't fly, they just hung out in the trees

-Monkees only threw feces at the lead runners and didn't have enough left to throw at the back of the pack runners

-The time went too fast.

-I ran fantastically well, except for 3 miles when I didn't. Can we forget those ?

-There was too much water - that slowed me down.

-I hated the shirt

-I hated the medal

-Do you have the sign up forms for next year? why NOT???

-the awards didn't go to enough people.

-There was no award for the slowest person.

-There was not enough food for the last person.

-The sports drink on the course tasted bad

-You didn't have the gels or the right brand/flavor of gel

-The aid stations were too far apart

-The mile markers didn't exist/weren't visible

-There weren't enough split clocks

-There weren't enough spectators to offer good course support

-The start was disorganized

-The finish area was disorganized

-There weren't enough porta-potties

-They ran out of toilet paper!!!

-There was no day of race packet pickup, forcing me to shop at the expo and spend $ on a hotel

-There was no expo, forcing me to get up an extra 10 minutes early to pick up my packet at the course

-They let all the slow people start in the front

-My gear bag wasn't waiting for me at the finish

-The volunteers pointed me off-course

-I started at the very front so that I could get my 10 min/mile rhythm established right away, and a bunch of rude runners started passing me on both sides! It was very distracting, couldn't you start those faster runners farther back or something?

-It rained

-It snowed

-It was too hot

-It was too cold

-It was too windy

-It was in a city park and there was no beer

-The course was not properly air conditioned/heated to my specifications.

-The race photos were no good.

-Golf carts were allowed on this course.

-All the race reports I read about this marathon were terrible.

-This marathon was way to easy.

-This marathon was way too hard.

-What kind of lunatic dreampt up this marathon route?!?

-There were no mirrors at the end to check my hair.

-The race didn't start on time.

-The course was not well marked.

-No home-made chocolate chip cookies at the finish.

-Some guy named Andrew tripped me and spiked my water at an aid station.
Trent
Reply with quote  #2 
I apologize for my limited foresight.  I forgot the most important complaing.  Please forgive me.

-My GPS said the course was 0.12 miles too long.

More
Reply with quote  #3 
- Too many fast runners registered for this thing so I didn't win.

- It started too early, I like to sleep late on Sundays.

- The field was limited to only 100 runners, I like a bigger field.

- There were no helicopters or live TV coverage.

- There was too much pre-race complaining.

-
No one took me seriously when I begged them to kill me at the flagpole before the mile 18 climb.
More More
Reply with quote  #4 

- The race does not allow mp3 players
- The race does not allow strollers
- The race does not allow jogglers
- The race has no jogglers
- The course was not flat
- The course was not all downhill

Andrew
Reply with quote  #5 

I was just trying to beat Lance Armstrong, I kept waiting for him...but I never saw him. 

Monkey
Reply with quote  #6 
Coker made me drink too much water before the marathon and I got Hyponatremia
emunki
Reply with quote  #7 

The mp3s from Emunki were not played but instead elevator sleepy music was played...

Courier37027
Reply with quote  #8 

If the Monkees (Tork, Nesmith, Jones) showed up and played that would be quite the coup.

 

A missing complaint: Are the results posted yet?

Andrew
Reply with quote  #9 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkey
Coker made me drink too much water before the marathon and I got Hyponatremia

Oh sheesh, you had me at Coker. 

Andrew
Reply with quote  #10 

How about no chip timing!?  Survey says......

Courier37027
Reply with quote  #11 

Another complaint: if you are going to start the race three minutes late, have the decency to tell the runners.  I am on a tight schedule, even on a Sunday morning.

CURVY
Reply with quote  #12 

There will be a extra special award for the person who finishes "Dead Last."

 

ABS
Reply with quote  #13 

- I got hit by a golf-ball and was disappointed it wasn't a monkey.

 

- I didnt sign up or train, and upon questioning, the RD said he did not recommend I run the race. 

 

- I did not start.

 

- I did not finish the race I did not start.

 

- Although the RD did not recommend anyone run the race, all the participants ignored his advice.

 

- All the aforementioned participants complained the whole time that no one should have been allowed to sign up for a race directed by this RD.  Afterall, he runs marathons up mountains. 

 

- All the complainers slowed me down.

jj
Reply with quote  #14 

It is actually possible to get hit by a golf ball.  I saw several along the road today as I was running past the driving range.  Has anyone ever gotten dinged by one?  Probably not, but just wondering.

another complaint
Reply with quote  #15 

You cannot just cut and paste the registrant list directly into Excel so you can sort it and see who is in your age group.

 

There will be age group winners, right?  Every three years, five deep?  If not . . . another complaint.

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